Before I walk towards the rainbow bridge
I want to prepare your heart
"Before
I walk towards the rainbow bridge, I just want to prepare you a
little"
Losing
your soulmate, your animal friend, can be completely overwhelming.
The grief that arises can take many different forms, as we all
process grief in such different individual ways. But it hurts! It
hurts when your furbaby dies. Your soulmate, your mentor, your guide.
When that safe individual who has been by your side for so long and
unconditionally showered you with love and joy every day is no longer
physically by your side.Then the heart hurts. You can't get away from
that.
Something I have noticed over the years is that animals somehow give us a chance to prepare ourselves a little emotionally. Of course, the situation is different, and that also means that you have a completely different type of soul contract, if the animal dies due to an accident or sudden illness. But if your furbaby is starting to approach the rainbow bridge due to old age, it is very common for them to give us one, or more, chances to prepare ourselves a little. It can show up as different varieties of age-related illnesses, from which they recover over a period of time. Sometimes it can even express itself in ways that they themselves are not ready to let go. Physics may say no, but they stubbornly fight on because they do not feel ready, or because they themselves are not ready to let go of the strong bond in the physical realm that exists between you.
Angel Dog
My angel dog Tjabo, an exuberantly happy and loving collie, was truly an individual who fought on despite illness at the end. I was 9 years old when Tjabo came into my life. When we first visited Tjabo and his littermates on the farm where he was born, it was for me a long dream that came true in my young life. I was going to have a dog. A best friend! I remember kneeling in the middle of the kitchen floor among all the dogs, and he was the one who came up to me first. He stood with his white paws on my thighs and gently put his nose on my shoulder. As if he had been waiting for me and said: "There you are!"
However,
he was not quite ready to move in with me that day when he was a
young puppy who needed a little more time with his mother. But when
that day came... I remember crying with joy when he finally came home
to me. Something in my heart grew and became bigger. Since that day
we were like peas and carrots.When
I was at school, he waited patiently. At just the right moment, he
went and stood so he could look out the window as I got off the
school bus. When
the thunder broke, he hid under the covers in my bed. We went on many
skiing and hiking trips together.
I can still see the joy on his face
today in my mind as he runs free like the wind across the forest
landscape at full speed, almost looking like he's floating in the
air. We took dressage courses and made new friends together. A puppy
and a girl who grew up together and learned about the world, and at
the same time supported each other in everything with unconditional
love.
My wonderful friend!
When I started high school, I had to move to another city, as the education I had sought and wanted to attend was not available where I lived. This also meant that Tjabo had to stay at home with the family, as I could not have him with me. We often met on the weekends when I came home, but everyday life certainly became different. But as the gentle, loving individual he was, he naturally fulfilled his responsible mission as a supportive pack member, to spread joy and love to the entire family. I also have two younger siblings, so all three of us have been able to share in Tjabo's loving care during our upbringing. We have all learned from him and with him. We have all felt safe with him. We have all had a laugh with him. You know, one of those "teddy bear" dogs who is like a safe Nanny.
"The body is tired, but I'm not ready yet"
But we all get older, and at Tjabo it was mainly noticeable through the stiffness in the body at first. Walking up the long stairs at home became a challenge, which ended with him being carried up and down the stairs as soon as someone noticed that he wanted to change floors.
It was noticeable that he finally started to struggle with the stairs. And then came a day when he couldn't seem to keep his balance. Concern spread through the family. But he recovered and limped on. But it also meant that everyone in the family was now constantly observant of his daily form. When his balance was affected for the second time, my mother resolutely booked an appointment with the vet. I remember she called me and prepared me for the fact that he was now an old dog, 14.5 years old. It's a lot for a collie, and at that age and with his condition, it might mean that the most considerate thing might be for him to be put to sleep. Oh,
this decision! That no one wants to make but that is actually the
greatest declaration of love.
To let go when a loved one feels
satisfied with this life journey on earth. To know and understand
when it's time, when it's right. Anyway, my mother went to the vet
with a heavy heart in her chest.
In the rearview mirror she saw the
friend she had had for 14.5 years who had helped her raise her
children. She tried to steel herself against the thought of having to
go home the same way, only with a dog collar. That hurts!
Once at the vet's, he does a thorough examination of Tjabo. After a while, he asks mom and Tjabo to come with him out into the garden. "I want to see how he moves" Once they are out in the garden, Tjabo trudges away and lifts his leg towards a bush. Needing to pee. "Look there! Yes, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with his balance." Since Tjabo was both eating and drinking properly, the vet concludes with his final thoughts: "You know, this guy still seems to have a spark left. I think he should be given another chance." The vet's analysis was that Tjabo could actually have suffered some kind of stroke. Twice, too!
Love & Security as basic ingredients
My dear mother has told me
about the emotional turmoil on the way home in the car. How she
looked again and again in the rearview mirror where her beloved
friend sat, straight in the back, like a king on his throne, on his
way home to his flock. He was not finished with his task. He had more
to give before he was ready to walk away towards the rainbow bridge.
He became 15.5 years old.
I completely agree with what my mother usually says: "Love and
security are the basic ingredients for creating the possibilities for
a long life together with our animals". It is certainly true.
That
we get a chance to somehow prepare ourselves a little for the fact
that someone close to us is about to disappear from our earthly life
is quite common, regardless of whether it concerns people or animals.
The main difference is that people can usually communicate how they
feel and what they are experiencing verbally. Animals show us in
other ways. Communicate in other ways. But I feel that there is
something beautiful and caring when someone who has been so close to
us for a long time gives us the space and opportunity to emotionally
prepare ourselves a little for
the fact that we are starting to approach a big change. A
change that we actually know so well is inevitable, which will affect
our lives and our everyday lives.
A change that is felt so strongly in the heart. It's a tribute to the strong bond you have and a preparation for the fact that that bond will now transition into a new form. Because you will never leave each other's side! I see it as loving care.
